#i don't think anyone else draws that distinction and i don't see why i should have to start

[unopenablebox]

Hi. This is a weird question. Do worms lay eggs?

they do, usually! i mean, like, "worm" could encompass a very large number of not-very-related animals, so not all "worms" lay eggs, but i feel safe saying that most do

annelids (eg earthworms, ocean-dwelling bristly worms) usually lay eggs but sometimes give live birth

nematodes (the worms i used to study) lay (delightfully optically transparent) eggs in all species im familiar with, but that's, like, three of them, so look it up if you're wondering about a specific non-C. elegans nematode.

flatworms (to my knowledge) always lay eggs if they can sexually reproduce. however some strains/subspecies/whatever have lost the ability to do so, and can now reproduce only by sticking their tail to a surface and swimming away from it until the end of the tail breaks off. the tail then regrows into an entirely new worm. great stuff

there's also other kinds of things that could reasonably be called a worm (we are ignoring slowworms and caecilians because they are vertebrates and therefore obviously not worms, come on), like bootlace worms and priapulids and such, but i don't know anything about them. if for some reason i had to bet on it i'd guess some of them lay eggs too though

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

heyyy I'm the anon who was kind of freaking out about the yuus in the anime 😭😭😭

you're right, I should probably just focus on my enjoyment and not the fandom- it's smth I've always struggled with. but I just saw ppl who clearly never had heard of twst saying "reverse harem" stuff and that's why i started panicking 😭

but yeah... I guess we'll have to wait and see. thank you for ur opinion and for your advice 🫂

[Referencing this post!]

Hello and welcome back!! Thanks for checking in. I hope that my response helped to ground anyone who might have been having similar thoughts or feelings. I know I can come off as stern or even disappointed in my advice posts, so 💦 if you got something out of it, then that makes me glad.

I think it's safe to say that fandom is a double-edged sword. It offers a community of people with the same interest to talk, interact, and create with--but in fostering that community, we can sometimes become so obsessed with defending it or caring about that community's opinions. It's important to draw the distinction between yourself and the fandom you engage with so you can still enjoy Twst on your own terms, separate of fandom. Otherwise, we may take things too personally and react very emotionally when we perceive others as treating Twst or its community in a way we don't approve of. Again, you should definitely prioritize yourself because ultimately we're not in fandom to argue with people, we're in fandom to have fun.

I've said this before, but I'll say it again because it might be helpful for those moments when panic strikes again. When you see someone making a claim about your fandom or related projects that makes you upset:

Stop yourself before you say or type something you might regret later.

Take a deep breath. Maybe sip some water.

Ask yourself questions like:

"Is what I'm about to say/write based on evidence or is it based on a gut feeling or a strong emotional reaction I'm having?"

"Am I expressing my opinion in a way that may be perceived as unfriendly or hostile?"

"How would I feel if I saw someone else assuming this about something I care about or was considering getting into?"

"Do I know the person misinterpreting my fandom? Whether yes/no, do I, on an individual level, care what they think? Why?"

"Does the person misinterpreting my fandom alter my own enjoyment or understanding of it? If not, what might the source of my anger and upset be?"

"The block and mute buttons exist. Is this an issue using one of those might resolve, or is it something that must be said or interacted with?"

Of course, I don't mean to police how you act and react in this space. These are only suggestions based on what I like to do. These strategies may not work for you, or you may not be interested in them at all. And that's okay! The only takeaway I'll ask of you is that you continue to navigate the Twst fandom in a mindful manner :>

[aeternallis]

KPTS Fic Trope: Kim should grovel / Semi-deep dive commentary of the breakup scene

I've seen a number of fans complaining about this trope, so I wanted to talk about it. XD Before that though, I will admit that I myself don't fully understand this trope--or rather, I'm not really sure what this trope fully entails? Because ngl, it sometimes also feels like readers/writers don't actually mind this trope, just only up to a certain extent.

And for anyone curious, I'm firmly on the camp that KimChay should yell/fight out their problems in the most unhinged manner possible like feral beans with lots of sexual tension to muck through AND with no one else involved cuz for the majority of the show, they were off in their own little world anyway~

But I may be on the minority in that, lol So, I digress.

From what I've gathered of this trope though, I'm assuming it's basically: -Kim begging Chay to talk to him/forgive him/ give him a second chance -Kim's own brothers takes Chay's side -VegasPete is somehow in Chay's affections and gets one up over Kim? -Basically no one is on Kim's side, lol

Depending on the execution of the fic, all or some of these points may be featured in the story in order to get these two lovebirds back together.

And honestly? I think the reason why this trope is so popular but also has its share of detractors is because people are looking for the payback or shall I say, "equivalent exchange" of this scene in particular:

It's arguably their most heartbreaking moment in the series, and I will admit, for some people who've had a bad breakup or two in their lives, it may hit a little too close to home, yknow?

And see, I've brought up the opinion before and will reiterate again that what the audience understands about KimChay's circumstances IS NOT what Chay understands as the character that makes up one half of this semi-canon ship.

And based on your understanding of this (as well as your preference, ofc) lies the difference as to whether you like/hate/feel neutral about this trope.

Sure, we can say that Kim did nothing physically to hurt Chay. We can say that Kim did what he had to do in order to keep Chay safe and not draw him into the dangerous world of the mafia, that he was looking out for Chay's best interests. There's just enough of Kim acting like a simp for Chay in the show to get this point across.

But be that as it may, Chay is not the audience. He's not a mind reader, especially not towards someone like Kim who's already closed off and hard to understand to begin with. Lol

And Chay not being able to read Kim's mind or intentions is not a failing on his part as a character; on the contrary, it's what makes him more human and sympathetic to the audience. There's a difference between emotional intelligence and having confidence in another person's motivations. In which case, I think herein lies the other distinction, if you, as the audience, are either willing to give Chay too much credit, too little credit, or just enough to get the ball rolling.

I think what tends to be forgotten about Chay's character at times is that for all his bravery, boldness, and intelligence (which deserves all the praise in the world, because holy moly, if only I had half his guts, I would get a lot more shit done), Chay is also someone who deeply respects people's boundaries. He's a noble character in that way, and why I think in particular Porsche did such a wonderful job raising him.

And we've seen this a number of times, from their very first meeting. He was brave for asking Kim to be his teacher, but didn't push to persuade him otherwise when Kim couldn't say yes. He was bold in tracking where Kim lives to serenade to him, but knew when he had to back off. And even when he confessed to Kim, there was no expectation of his affections being returned, only that he had wanted to show his gratitude to Kim for letting him do his best, and hoping perhaps that the time they spent together would always remain special to Kim.

In this regard, Chay remains loyal to himself and his steadfast nature without ever pushing for more than what Kim could give. But what made the breakup scene painful I think is not just because Kim made Chay believe that he had never loved him, but also because Kim muddled Chay's understanding of the boundaries between them. I would maybe even go so far as to say that what Kim did to Chay was basically a form of gaslighting.

And in muddling that crucial understanding between them, the full scale of the implications in regards to what Chay must have felt in that moment, in my opinion, cannot be overstated:

-the abject humiliation of having believed that someone had returned your feelings, only for it to be implied otherwise by said someone, no matter what Kim's meaning was with his "I'm sorry" LOL -the doubt and lack of confidence in yourself due to misunderstanding someone, without even knowing it -the fear of having shared so much of yourself, when the other person may not even have wanted nor cared for what you had to share in the first place -the loneliness that comes after having experienced all of these emotions, particularly for Chay who was already feeling left behind by his own brother

It's not a surprise tbh, why Chay chose to pull away from not only Kim after this scene, but also from Porsche, at least on an emotional level. Negative emotions like these tend to spill over to the perception of other relationships in one's life; it's hardly ever only contained to the relationship they originated from.

All of these things are painful human experiences, not just something that fictional characters go through, yknow?

And this is why I think this trope is so popular with the KimChay fic writers to begin with. I imagine that those who have written reconciliation fics that feature this trope are highly sympathetic to Chay's plight due to their own lived experiences, and why, while I myself am not necessarily a fan of it, also choose not to judge it.

It's basically wanting to find that sort of satisfaction in fiction that otherwise isn't always found in reality, using said points in the trope.

Ultimately, Kim is the one who muddled that important understanding between himself and Chay. This being the case, Kim has to be the one to untangle them now, imperatively so for some writers, to the point it's at the cost of losing one's dignity (the begging part) and standing alone (his own brothers don't have his back).

[mouseratz]

The notes "masculinity cannot be salvaged" well I don't know about that. if patriarchy was not a thing, I would think gender is indeed a choice and self-expression, and some things (mostly visual and with common exceptions) will still probably be masculine or feminine, it just won't matter very much. Some parts of gender are still kinda abstract and can't be forced (ie, why is sexuality even a thing, then? why would someone make any distinction at all? why would someone risk their life to transition in either 'direction' now if ultimately gender shouldn't exist at all?).

"decentering gender in the structure of society itself as a means to combat patriarchy" does not have to mean "no one gets any gender at all whatsoever". many people like gender for reasons that don't make sense and I just don't think that would actually go away in any version of our world.

"we need to genuinely get rid of masculinity as a concept" is just not something I think would work. we do need to change what it means, we do need to fight oppositional sexism (the idea that men and women possess Opposite Qualities), and some of that means making gender matter a lot less. but it's still gonna be there, I think. just not really a big deal for most people. Some people won't have it, and some will have different genders, just like they do now, but if you're not fighting for the right to live and be accepted by society, it's just a part of a person like any other trait or feature.

some people will still be men. we are never going to have a succinct, easy definition of man or woman. but we don't need to prove that to say patriarchy sucks and we need something else yeah.

"gender shouldn't matter" yes

"gender is socially constructed" yes

"gender isn't real and there is nothing good about it, it only serves to enforce patriarchy" well. no. I see why you say that.

I guess I just ultimately don't believe that man and woman are categories created to oppress women; they just do because of hundreds of years of patriarchy, they are used that way. I also think many people exist outside of the gender binary or disconnected with it entirely, and that's not a problem at all, but it doesn't mean the genders we started with don't exist at all. we just tried to draw boxes around them and based the whole world around that, which sucks. It was, as with many things, a bad way to go about it.

I might just be stupid but in general while "men are privileged in every group compared to women in that same group and often have greater power and leeway for oppression" is true, "man itself is solely an oppressor class" .....I don't think so. gender should not have the place it does currently, obviously, and masculinity is often redefined to continue patriarchy most effectively and gatekeep anyone else from those benefits, right, but that doesn't mean "if there were no gender-based oppression, we would have no men".

(and for the people reading in poor faith: no, obviously, while I do not have a definition of man that is clear, it does include man as a concept that is not dependent on body parts. this discussion would be the same whether there's vaginas or penises. that has little to no bearing on anything at all very truly without gender based oppression/upholding the gender binary at all costs. that REALLY wouldn't matter in these hypotheticals).

[acideathr]

‧₊˚♪𝄞࿐₊˚⊹ 𝖙𝖜𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖜𝖔𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝄞₊ ⊹ 𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓𝖙 ● 𝖌𝖑𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖉𝖊 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗼𝗻𝗲 ● 𝗮 𝘀𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁 ⤿ 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗹���𝗲 ● 𝗶 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝘀𝗲

♫ .. “ ... 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 ... “ ★ . •° . －𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘳 ．．• ♡︎

silver and sebek: A GARGOYLE!

azul: what has gotten into you two? i don't understand how simply seeing a gargoyle could elicit such excitement.

sebek: how could it not?! malleus is the head of the gargoyle studies club!

silver: he'll be delighted to see this.

idia: uh, sure he's less the head of the club, and more the only guy in it...

sebek: i must notify him at once! MALLEUUUS!!!

sebek: look! it's one of your beloved gargoyles! please, take all the time you want to gaze upon it!

malleus: ......

sebek: hm? why do you look displeased? is there something wrong?!

malleus: it doesn't have a waterspout. the only purpose it serves is to adorn the railing.

malleus: hence, it's not a gargoyle. it's a mere decoration, which means it's a grotesque.

malleus: you must not conflate the two.

azul: pedantic, much?

idia: i guess malleus is pretty particular. dude, i can relate. it seriously grinds my gears when people call the shield in star rogue a barrier. pfft.

azul: ugh, persnickety people are so tiresome...

azul: the gar— ah, grotesque — looks rather dirty, though. there's straw stuffed in its mouth.

malleus: what? there is?

malleus: ...why, yes, you're right. is that a bird's nest?

silver: it looks that way. excuse me, birds. may we have a look inside?

*tweeting*

silver: ah, it's hollow on the inside. the birds built their nest in there.

malleus: it's hollow?

sebek: yes, sir. there seems to be a passage going from its mouth to the back.

malleus: a passage, hm...

malleus: ah...of course.

silver: what is it? you're staring so intently at the gar— um, grotesque, i mean.

malleus: i must apologize for my earlier rudeness. you are a gargoyle, through and through.

malleus: i can clearly see the passage goes all the way back. it must serve as your waterspout.

malleus: and there are so many of you... on closer inspection, you each have a distinctive face all your own.

malleus: i'm curious about your placement...but it's an intriguing thought exercise to guess why you might be there. are you being relocated, i wonder?

malleus: what a truly fascinating place noble bell college is.

idia: anyone else having whiplash from that total one—eighty?

silver: are you happy with them, then?

malleus: yes. thank you both for drawing my attention to them.

sebek: you needn't thank us, my liege! i'm sure even the gargoyles are honored to earn your noble recognition!

*creaking*

azul: ...hm?

azul: did that gargoyle just move?

silver: huh? the gargoyle...moved?

malleus: ...ashengrotto. you must be sorely exhausted from the climb up here. you should take a long rest.

idia: it's just a big rock. it CAN’T move on its own. are you sure you're not delirious, azul?

azul: i know what i saw...! oh, never mind. i'm well aware how silly it sounds.

azul: forget i said anything.

rollo: well, i think that covers all the notable geographic points... ah, and what were you chatting about over here?

azul: nothing at all! we're finished now.

rollo: is that so?

rollo: then let us head back down.

rollo: once you've put away your things, you're welcome to tour around the city. seeing is believing, as they say.

azul: oh yes, it's about time for our fieldwork, according to the itinerary.

trein: you will have free exploration time so you can learn about the city's history. once we've left the tower, we can—

vice president: oh, uh, one more thing!

trein: yes?

vice president: we actually have gifts for all of our guests, as a token of our regard.

ruggie: gifts, you say? ooo, what'd ya get us?

grim: is it food? well? IS IT?!

aide: we got you special attire so you can truly enjoy the festival!

ruggie: oh, clothes? hmm... not what i expected, but if you're offerin', i'm takin'.

ruggie: so, are they like, pricey duds, or...?

jamil: you're not supposed to ask how much a present costs!

aide: i wouldn't call them "pricey," but i'm sure you'll like them.

vice president: all the locals wear similar outfits at this time of year.

malleus: so it's traditional attire?

rollo: they're more for the festival specifically.

rollo: we thought it would be nice to have all the social participants dress in these outfits...

rollo: ...or rather, that's what these two thought.

vice president: absolutely! these clothes will help you immerse yourselves in our history and give you a true appreciation of fleur city!

rollo: hmph. well, there you have it.

rollo: let us head down. the sooner you get changed, the better.

⭑♪⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ⭑♪⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

©𝗖𝗢𝗣𝗬𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 ● @acideathr 2025 ⤿ my work is not yours to take; posting chapters requires significant time and effort. all credit is due to aniplex and yana toboso; show your support by downloading the twisted wonderland. this blog particularly caters to players who cannot access the en game because of their region or those who aren't willing to download the game

[2n2n]

(Hey do you know if hanako kun seal come off, the entire world will fall in disrray..... * that was close-!!* *heart thumping*)

If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your opinion on this?

It's primarily just a joke because Aida-sensei messed up and didn't include the seal on a random drawing suddenly... but I do think it's worth looking at the joke itself. Rather than imagining a Hanako saying "I'M FREE!!" or "nyahahaha", AidaIro-sensei imagine him desperate to secure it back onto his face... we can think of that as something! The gag drawing could be Kou trying to force it back on or idk, Hanako doing something silly without limits, but it's Hanako scared it came off. We can just take the silly drawing as a statement of: Hanako's desperate to keep that thang on. What does it mean to be a dog desperate to stay chained?

I do think Hanako's seal is important to him, and something he seems to want to keep. I often say it but-- I imagine Nene-chan could probably just peel it using her powers, right? But he never asks her to, and he never alludes to his seal as some sort of pain, or problem, or annoyance. There is no underhanded goal to get it off. He doesn't joke about it; he acts as if it is entirely not there and not a concern for anyone, despite it being so plain and obvious. Nene-chan seemingly hasn't worried about it ever since Kou's vague explanation, and Hanako isn't interested in doing any correcting or expositing. He isn't defensive about it, or self-pitying.

I think the seal represents repression, "holding back". Nothing could be more important to Hanako than repression, amirite? I think it's an important memory, whatever occurred, that he doesn't want to lose as a reference point. Because the Minamoto family were aware of the Red House, and their grandma forbade them from ever nearing it, and at some point, also sealed Hanako, we can assume the sealing of Hanako may have touched upon a lot of sensitivities.

Hanako is a person who deflects everything. He is cryptic, obtuse, he jokes and handwaves things, he lies. He's always compromising, or trying to run away. He'll only tell Nene-chan his wish when he believes he will never see her again. He seems afraid of leaning into his own feelings. He won't say anything out loud, not until pushed to the limit, and even then, he doesn't cede much. He is a person who surely feels it would be bad if he did all he wanted, or told the truth. Perhaps the truth is ugly, or what he wants is terrifying.

As Yako talks about "going berserk", Hanako touches his seal. He seems uncomfortable with the notion "you're still you; you don't become somebody else".

Perhaps for Hanako, it would be convenient to believe you become somebody else, or are fundamentally altered. Perhaps he would like to not have to owe all of his actions to only himself, his nature. It would be more convenient to be infected with something external that makes you behave badly, than simply have your heart speak out in its natural tongue.

(by the way, this is why I don't personally like drawing a distinction between 'Amane' and 'Hanako', and I think it is drinking the kool-aid to argue their difference. I do not think the manga's message would be "well, you're different!" versus the FAR more potent message of "you're still you, no matter what", especially when we're arguing about the personhood or authenticity of people like Tsukasa and Mitsuba. We shouldn't be calling anybody 'fake' or 'gone', and we shouldn't really be calling damaged people 'irreparably altered and lost'. Surely, we should accept and love all of somebody, and see them as themselves, at their best, or at their worst. Lost, confused, fractured-- Hanako and Amane have the same heart, and it is miserably in love.)

As humans, it's relatable. We'd often like to imagine it's not our own fault, or not our nature when we react to something. We like to think of some people as "bringing out something bad" in us, or influencing us, changing us, to become bad-- due to THEIR nature, not OURS. We don't like to take ownership of who we are. It's a complicated notion for Hanako, who both wants to be held accountable and given credit for the choices Amane made.....

.... and struggles with full ownership of his selves, his past, his present, his future. Or perhaps he struggles with the continuity of his existence? Those fragmented, lost, altered parts?

... all things his seal makes me think about.

Could Amane really become this? What Hanako is? Could Amane do all Hanako has done. I mean yes, but.... things he has to think about.

The boy behind that seal-- what did he do? What was he like? If we remove Hanako's seal, will some part of him come back-- a part he doesn't want to interface with? Is he reluctant to have access to certain power? Just how much is really behind it? It is a warping abstraction, is it an irrational sense of self-apprehension, or could it be that dramatic?

I enjoy AidaIro joking "the entire world will fall in disarray", it's like his catastrophizing is fodder for THEM to mock (I love how they bully Amane.... the normal Amane is normally useless...)

Well, whatever the case... he must be attached to the self that is sealed, the way he behaves now. He seems to prefer this for himself, but Hanako hates himself.

meanwhile sympathy for Aida-sensei who has to flipflop between sealed and unsealed boys as she draws the living and the dead boy for any random chapter or event. I cannot imagine. it's literally sf hard when drawing the boys to mind the seals.

[forkaround]

Playboyy Ep 5 Trash Watch Part 1

Have I done this for E1 - 4? No. But I don't think I can watch this show without making a post or it's a waste of an hour for me and as much as I want to watch this show I can't keep track of anything at all.

You know most of these actors remind me of Pat from Step by Step, especially the kids club. It's that same slack jawed, plump lips expression.

Wait wait wait this whole thing started because of a comment? A play? A dare? Dude what are guys doing out in the world. We need to keep all the boys under lock and key to make sure they don't hurt themselves.

Nuthyim is the username. The lead character is Nont, twin - Nant. You see the confusion.

Wait I thought this was about hitting on someone to get experience for a play, how did it end up in a red light scene with hoods over their heads??? Keep the boys home.

Why does Nant look like he is scamming people when asking for money?? Why doesn't he ask his dad?? Nont?? They are more likely to give money for mom. Unless it's not for mom in that case Nont being angry doesn't make sense. I feel like he didn't really have to do any of this. Even if it wasn't for mom, Asian families would do anything, anything to avoid a scandal. Okay, so while the characters might not get that the writer should. Otherwise it lacks logic as a story coz we are the audience, we have a birds eye view, it won't land for the audience.

So if Nont has revealed himself now, then what was the 'having sex with anything that moves'? Clearly not part of a plan to find his brother. It's the logic again. Not there.

I'm only 5 mins in and this looks more like a spectacle than a real examination of the story being told. I'm not new to crime dramas and I'm not new to sex worker protags so I know this is poorly written. Simple as that. Like the Soong kidnaps First opening. There for shock value only. This too.

Why didn't he tell them who the third guy is? I suppose since they already fought about Teena it's explainable. But like don't say three things and not show three things. It's incomplete. I'm having a Sheldon moment. Complete the sentence!

STOP SPEAKING ENGLISH. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH! I imagine this is how Italian, French, Spanish speakers feel when someone butchers the language. I couldn't even understand it without the subs. Reminds me of House and Sheldon speaking Hindi.

Also do you feel guilty or not boy? That's your friend who is missing. You do like him right? Did the writer just really love that line?

You know I don't care that it's unsexy, I don't care it's weird, I won't care about the horrible pacing. This show is stupid. And that's where I draw the line. I watch Cdramas, I know pacing issues but never have they turned me off so much.

They are all overdramatic about their relationships and I'm left asking - why do you care??? Why do any of you care??? You clearly are unemotional enough when it was Nant, why do you care about these boys??? Where is the logic??

Are they all Mary Sues? Coz I can't see any other reason for these guys to be so crazy over these kids.

This show could have used color coding clothes. or the pair's name starting with the same letter.

Is Zoey the Mew of this group??? He feels like the Mew of this group.

And that's what I mean that this show is confusing. I had no idea why Zoey was angry with Captain until his friend explained it. Stilted af. It's like someone wrote scenes and forgot the flow.

You know we've seen shows like these. Rich kids being shitty isn't new. Gossip Girl made that a thing long before anyone else. For something small town there is Pretty Little Liars. They did shit to each other all the time. But they made sense. I should clarify - they made sense for what we knew of the characters without losing the pacing.

Anyone else feeling a distinct urge to slap the car boy?

I can't watch any more today. Buh-bye

[bizarropurugly]

Ah I see. I am just a reader of the fic. Nothing else. Idk anyone involved. I was never interested enough to join any servers either, I just enjoyed the fic in peace. It’s nice to wait for a monthly fic, you know? I only assumed you were friends because you mentioned being very hurt over this.

I reached out because some of the accusations are pretty serious. I saw people calling them ableist, whorephobic, racist, two-faced ect. I saw your post lastly. I saw some other people talk about it before you. And like, I don’t want to overstep but is a fanfiction that serious? I am not saying you are in the wrong, I’ve read some screenshots and to my understanding there is a misunderstanding on both parts. And I don’t want to come across as rude either. I reached out because you - and some other people - talked about self harm regarding this topic. Please don’t hurt yourself over something like this. It’s really not worth it. You should be able to talk about how you feel without judgement. To my understanding you were never given a proper explanation. But why did you feel judged if you were never friends? Please don’t take this the wrong way I just want to understand both sides.

what part of this do you think is a misunderstanding? /nm

it's not so much over a fanfic but the community of it. so like, think of it more like, having problems with a specific class - you're saying "is geometry that serious?" but it's not the subject that's actually the issue. does that make more sense?

as for the judgement - I'm going to assume you're new to closed spaces of internet communities. you say you don't use discord, at least, and I know forums are basically a thing of the past. you're probably more used to wading through the open waves of fandom oceans - twitter, tumblr, bluesky, instagram, etc - as opposed to having joined a group specifically for a fandom. congratulations on staying out of the beach club house. (not sarcasm)

let me use the class analogy again - I mean, I wasn't really friends with any of my classmates so it works perfectly -

just because someone isn't your friend, or even is a complete stranger, doesn't mean you don't feel their eyes burning into your flesh like a brand

you come in late to class, and everyone is staring at you. or maybe you had to wear something too small, or a bit raggedy, and everyone is staring at you.

I had written smut drabbles previously before the ban. after the ban, there was a distinct feeling I was being watched. and I mean, I have yet to be wrong about anything negative. the CPTSD really does numbers on your sense of awareness around others' actions and words. even online.

so it's like, I joined a club. the club was closed. there was a big announcement the club was closed. the club was closed for "doing bad things". and everyone knows I was in the club. you'd have to be stupid to think nobody's whispering about you in the halls.

you're in a closed space. it's easy to know you're being judged by everyone else in it.

being hurt doesn't have to strictly involve friendships. I mean, have you ever been bullied? obviously a bully isn't your friend but still hurts you. can even get others involved, even those in power, if they tug the right strings.

trust me. I'm not lying when I said I've been in misuta's position. "maybe he knows what it feels like to be prey after all".

not to mention, friends are/were involved in this whole thing too. like I said, I felt like I was being pushed away by basically everyone. damaged goods. tainted. don't touch it timmy you'll catch its disease.

and of course, all the friendships I would have hoped to have foster, but now have no way of doing so. you don't just start messaging random people from a place you've been kicked out of.

losing community hurts, especially when you thought you were finding your footing. I'm glad you've never had to go through it. pray you never do. gitm made me want to write and draw again, now I don't want to because it feels all for naught. it's likely nobody even noticed I was gone, anyway. didn't when I voluntarily stayed out of the server thanks to being triggered, so.

mmn, sorry this is getting rambly. I don't know how to explain to you how even people you barely know can cause harm to you. especially when it mimics something that happened to you previously, to the point that you've accidentally called the person responsible by someone else's name.

[spacecadetspe]

A year ago today…

Jan. 16, 2023

Having read some of the top listings on Lj today, I realize wholeheartedly that the account of my daily life may seem fantastical... or perhaps just unhinged. The primary reason I keep this alternate reality confined to this journal is so that I can live a normal life on Earth. I have responsibilities to which I must regularly attend, and I can't afford to let it interfere with my daily life.

I suppose I should institute some "rules" or something, to keep things clear, since it's plausible that whoever is reading this will be justifiably confused.

Nearly anything is possible. If it can happen, it probably will at some point. How I react to the goings on is how I measure my personal growth.

I say "nearly anything" because logically there are just some things that wouldn't be necessary, appropriate, or may even be detrimental to the beings that exist in that space, including myself. (Could there be a castle made of candy, guarded by marshmallow unicorns? Certainly. But... why? Who does that benefit?)

As Virtue of Hope and Chief Lady of Dreams, I can do a lot of things that my peers cannot. I can regrow limbs and heal scars (mine or anyone else's). I can split myself into projections or excise different aspects of myself. I have 300 wings, where most Virtues start out with ten.

None of this applies to my life in the Mortal coil. My mortal life is really rather mundane. I'm a divorced mom living in a comfy apartment, have equal custody of my son, and hold a raging grudge against my ex-husband (which I try not to project onto my child).

My therapy affects both sides of my existence. Because therapy does that. It changes who you are at a basic level, and so my actions and reactions reflect that on both sides.

Many of the entities I encounter in the Dream World exist on the mortal coil, as well. I have attempted to make distinctions between their roles in this life and the one on the other side of the Veil.

Now that that's cleared up, maybe I'll sound less like a crazy person when I talk about my walks on the other side.

And speaking of, by last few such walks haven't been pleasant. My evening routine in the Mortal realm has consisted of drawing a sacred circle on my chest every night to keep X away, much like the uses of Solomon's demonic sigils. And, two nights ago, I forgot to apply it. I really should know by now that those little spells aren't permanent. I got too complacent. I'm not sure why, since I'm well aware that X will try to subdue me by any psychic means necessary. Perhaps I'm just tired. I yearn for a sense of "normalcy," whatever that means. I suppose I shouldn't be so disillusioned.

As far as I'm concerned, I think placing wards like this every night serves to beautifully illustrate the idea that I am, in fact, unhinged. Drawing sigils and swearing up and down that some entity somewhere, nay, my ex-husband, is out to get me? It just screams paranoid delusion.

Which is one more reason that X might continue such attacks, I suppose; just to undermine me further in a society that doesn't tend to believe in the stuff I see.

Don't get me wrong, dear reader; I'm exhausted with this. I would love nothing more than to let down my guard and just... be. No more sigils, no more spells... no more journals where I write myself in as the victim. But waking up in the manner that I do... it's more than enough to make me a believer.

I dreamed that he cut off my left arm above the elbow. I could probably play it off like I fell asleep on my arm and cut off my circulation, but it wouldn't do justice to the pain. I woke up, of course, and tried to shake it off, but the ache shot down all the way to the joints of my fingers. It was so severe that the following day, I couldn't play the piano. This is in the mortal world, mind you. So the fact that it was affecting my physical body is a serious matter.

He cut off my arm... butchered every joint... so that when I stitched it back together, I can feel the seams holding my flesh in place. Even now, I'm having some difficulty typing.

Nothing on earth could describe how much I want to just... stop. But until X is finally broken, I'll have to settle for looking a little crazy.

Jan. 16, 2024

I’ve tried to get back into doing the rounds again. Morpheus and other oneiroi have approached me to try to keep me calm, but after my come-to-Jesus with Fortitude, I’m feeling a little fragile.

Two nights in a row now, any attempt to ease my frustrations has been thwarted. Night before last, Morpheus was called away just as he was about to crawl into bed with me. And last night I came away from one of my rounds shaking and anxious, feeling my chakras broken, and one of them came up behind me and held me for awhile. I turned around and he kissed me (keep in mind I’m not sure who this is) and I felt myself relax. But it didn’t go further than that. He escorted me to a bedroom somewhere, but I was awoken by a phone call.

The timing always seems to be just slightly off. I’m not to the point where I can be angry about it, but I feel it approaching.

Today is a rare snow day for my state, so Fortitude and I are staying in, for now. I’ll go get W later today, if the roads are clear.

Métis wants to have a “girls’ day” at her apartment in the dream world, which sounds pleasant. I might join her later.

[dragonidpyrus12]

God, I remember when I was little, we had two distinct classes during elementary year 3-4, which got repurposed a few years later. One was something... it was design, but not. I vividly remember we had a task to draw our house but in a building sort of sense, like you see on blueprints. Amazing class, would love to see it make a comeback.

The other was a civic class. And we had a philosophy class in high school too, but it didn't really hit where it should. I don't really remember much from it unfortunately, but it did mention our right to vote and why and how we earned it, for kids obviously. But the fact it got taken out, in my region, of the learning process is really telling.

I'm so glad you have been so lucky. In a sense, one of my parents would sort of say "yeah voting is important", but that doesn't usually motivate me, in any situation. Also one of my classmates wanted to become a teacher as well, I've heard some of her discussions with our headmaster/diriginte, so I know what you mean about that module!

Goodness... Honestly, the state of this information is just heartbreaking like you said... I've also heard from many teachers over the years, my teachers, that a lot of the information is just... too much, not needed, and outdated.

Oh my god, that sounds horrifying. There's very little actually acceptance for... different ideas in our society, especially when it comes to the communist movies or actual history. Many (not all) middle-aged people don't even BELIEVE about things that Russia did to our country and our people, let alone all the way back to Dacians.

Also side-note, can I find info on the research online or is it just in research groups specifically? I'm curious, sorry!

It's so sad that, in order to actually understand what happened with the Iron Guard, you either have to bump into it online and be curious enough to look into it, or you have to go to uni. I haven't gotten to uni, but at least I'm glad you actually learn more about it there. And yeah, it's hard to call them anything other than monsters...

I've always felt that everything is kind of... all over the place. You don't really have a direction, and yeah they kinda slack off big time. Not to mention that religion classes eventually become Opt-in (or opt-out, I forgot), but at that point there's not... really much you learn there. No offense to anyone else, but that's what it felt like to me.

Man... I remember when I was bullied for wanting to know more, or for becoming better. I didn't like English in particular, took a really bad grade, cried about it and then I learned to love English thanks to YGO. Once I got better, the bullies of the class liked to pick on me even more than usual, that I was one of those "know it alls" now. That just made me more stubborn.

I can probably say I grew up in the Iohannis "Educated Romania" regime. I can DEFINITELY say I have 0 fucking clue what the hell to do now. Like the school didn't prepare me for the real world, and it also didn't give me great knowledge, and I acknowledge that and I'm always open to learning for because of it. I also have short memory, so that might have a play in it.

But I had to learn the things that I have from online sources as a result. And I had to comb through online sources to make sure the information is refutable.

Younger generations? I'm even scared to think about them. The pandemic also brought out more evidently the issues the education system has and made a lot of people indifferent to any sort of education as a whole.

Agreed on the results if there will be investing in education at all. You don't get these results in a few years, you get them over the span of a generation or two.

Yeah... Yeah it's ever since communism fell. Nothing major changed, there only patches in a structure that was outdated and outright wrong at times.

Funny you should say that, avem si noi genetica in programa! Dar e la stiinte ale naturi (si in programa de BAC, poti da ori la plante, animale si ecologie, ori la anatomie si genetica). Probabil la alte profile se repeta alta materie din anii trecuti.

Foreigners in the replies of posts regarding Romania; I regret to inform you the extremist candidate loss was not in anyway related to America's current situation.

Has Trump been brought up? Yes, but from what I've seen, in that manner at least, it was mostly in progressive circles that would have already voted just fine

This was entirely our own hubris and doing

Simion's number 1 mistake was threatening our place in EU and NATO, the two best things to have happened to this godforsaken country in ever

Simion's number 2 mistake was threatening our democracy in a country with generational trauma the likes of which westerners cannot begin to comprehend

[anarchblr]

I like your Trotsky train post & the reason for focusing on the worker over the consumer, although I do have concerns that "fuck the consumer" could be used to hurt disabled people who cannot work and are only able to be consumers. im worried that line of thinking could lead abled people to a sort of "why they get a say in how stuff should work when they don't contribute!" type of ableism. like people who make insulin should have control over their labor, but it feels dangerous to say that the diabetic patient who can't work shouldn't have any say in insulin production, or that disabled people who can't drive (which I am) shouldn't have any say in public transportation. with things everyone needs (water, food, sewage system) it's easier to assume that everyone will have the same needs, but when the worker is abled and the consumer is disabled, and the worker is providing a necessary accomodation or treatment... im just not sure I trust or really want abled people to have total control over disabled people's lives via the products or services we need to survive & function y'know?

yeah, i get that.

i think part of the tension or worry with that is that, although implicitly in my mind i attached that original post with my anti-work and anti-humanist healthcare positions but didn't do it explicitly, so while I'm staking out some positions it wouldn't be immediately obvious to anyone else; and you know what, that's a fair critique.

needless to say, i don't want diabetics to be particularly disadvantaged in their day to day life in any significant way a non-diabetic wouldn't be. my frustration (“fuck the customer”) is more of a frustration against capitalist creation of the consumer/producer dichotomy: hopefully it won't be lost to you that i also rail against “the worker” or “work” as a stand for hating the conditions that create those categories in our society. it's the same position, just the other side of it.

like, don't forget, I'm still a communist, i still think everyone should receive according to need, and would go on to say that the distinction between “need” and “want” are also largely meaningless in most senses except for the control of people; so i share your concerns regarding ablelism and disabled folks being largely at the mercy of others and don't really see it apt to draw a line there; i think non-diabetics should also have access to insulin or whatever other medication, we don't know their purpose for it, maybe they're getting it for a loved one that can't go to the store that day, who knows? i guess what I'm trying to say here is that with a society that takes care of the needs and wants of its workers it can reasonably be assumed that the maladies of those workers will be treated and relieved as well as those of their loved ones and friends and neighbors, even outside of the workplace. it's just a very unwieldy thing to say is all.

[killiru]

Not me Rewatch thoughts

Ep. 1

Caution: Obvious spoilers I have to share my muddled thoughts a bit - sorry.

Still love the opening so much, it gives me life.

Omg it looks a bit like the pool where Black, White and Todd are at the beginning is the pool that later is Dan's secret base. Am I imagining it?! Probably, but that's okay with me 

Edit: Nope. It's not the same pool. Damnit.

A little bit it seems like Todd used to babysit Black and White. At least it doesn't seem unusual for him when their parents ask him to watch them for a while while they argue.

I know we dont see much of her, but White's ex-girlfriend is so so pretty.

The River told me lies starts to play in the background and my heart breaks a little.

Hihi you can see Gun's ear holes a bit in White's ears at the beginning.

Somehow it's very symbolic that White is strumming on the piano when he passes it when he's at his father's house. Or that there's a piano there in general - it's actually a mark of distinction in terms of cultural capital (according to Bourdieu).

The soy milk commercial I cant

White's dad is still so hot - kicking my daddy issues

I think the dad is lying when he says he doesn't know where Black is.

Exciting: White's dad introduces him to his diplomat friends at university (social capital) - shortly after, the one dude offers him a job. Not only that, but shortly after he offers him his books to study too.

Todd says at the beginning his new friends are the reason for Black's injuries. And that's not even a complete lie.

Why do they have hairnets on but no masks when they're in the ICU?

That handkerchief thing is so gross omg.

NO, DON'T WIPE YOUR FACE WITH IT, EWWW.

Boy, White looks good in glasses AND Black's clothes. The combo is nice - wish it would have been longer on screen

I just want to note that Todd a) had Black's key and b) hesitated when he said Black wasn't dating anyone. Maybe it was jealousy, I don't know - shouldnt he know he had a thing with Eugene.

Does Black actually have a drawing of brass knuckles and a Swiss Army knife on his pinboard? Am I imagining it ahahah

White asks so reproachfully if Black is still at uni. Rude

EPISODES 1 GRAM WAS SO SWEET

I love Nuch bye

I also love the talk about rule of/by law and the fact that White obviously doesn't have a clue although I would imagine he should have learned that in his studies. It just shows the vitamin B.

Just stealing someone else's helmet is NOT what you mean by redistribution, Gram! xD

AHHHHH YOK APPEARS ON THE SHOW FOR THE FIRST TIME, I LOVE YOU BABY. Your clothes are on point again.

That the bird drawn on Sean's door looks a bit like the one from Panem is no coincidence I think, especially since in Thailand activists have used the sign from the books with the three fingers for themselves. Nevertheless, it is now a funny headcanon of mine that Sean's favourite books are "The Hungergames".

And there he is. Sean my love. Off has never looked better in a role than in this ngl.

Hahaha... he's already washing his future boyfriend in EP 1. That's very kind of Sean isn't it?

The anarchy sign graffiti in the background... wonder who they are from the crew.

How nice the Molotov cocktails were lined up on the tablet.

Result from Ep 1 : I love this show with all my heart and look forward to Episode 2.

(and still. Ew. Dont.)

[bigskydreaming]

Okay, just to clarify, after everyone thought Bruce had died, was there any real evidence that he wasn't dead? What was Tim basing his assumptions on?

Okay, so this is a particularly interesting question to answer, because the thing is.....yes and no?

Like there WAS something Tim based his initial hunt on, and then his world tour was all about gathering more evidence to support his conclusions, but like....

He never actually shared any of this with Dick? Not until the very end once he had conclusively assembled all his proof as well as how they were gonna go about getting Bruce back.

But before that?

He never so much as uttered a PEEP to Dick about his theory about Bruce being lost in time, OR his reasons FOR believing that.

He even monologues about it, asking himself WHY didn't he share his findings with Dick at any point, like when he went back to Gotham to help out during Blackest Night. He's never shown drawing any specific conclusions so its up to the reader to guess at that themselves. Personally, I think he never shared this with Dick because he himself was afraid the evidence was flimsy and that showing it to someone else would expose it to being poked and prodded at for viability....which he not so secretly was scared it wouldn't hold up to. Throughout the first twelve issues of Red Robin, Tim's inner monologue FREQUENTLY cycles through self doubt, his fears that he's just clutching at straws and seeing what he wants to see from his evidence.

But like....he's the only one making himself think that, because literally nobody but him knows what he's found! This isn't Dick making Tim think he's crazy or gaslighting him....

Because the literal only thing Dick has heard from Tim is that he just knows Bruce is alive, without Tim even offering up WHY he thinks that!

And so all along, Dick is just trying to get him to talk to him, talk to a therapist maybe, because like hello, denial is a THING with grief, y'know? This is a normal part of MOST peoples' grieving process. So in absence of Tim actually DIVULGING his actual THEORY about how Bruce is alive and why he knows this.....what possible reason should ANYONE have for assuming Tim isn't just....in denial due to his grief?

But again, what's very key here is at no point along the way did Tim actually share his suspicions with Dick. Meaning there's no point in which "Dick didn't believe him" describes Dick hearing Tim out about his findings and just deciding nah, I don't buy it, you're just crazy kid.......no, "Dick didn't believe him" literally ONLY describes.....'when Tim just insisted Bruce was alive, he just knew it, and refused to go into specifics ever as to why he thought so.'

Which, I hope we can all agree describes two very different scenarios that are not actually interchangeable.

What's also significant is even WITH all of this, at not just one point but TWO distinct points in Red Robin's first twelve issues....Tim asks Dick to just trust him and let him keep going with his search (still not having yet revealed anything that prompted him to go on his search or that he'd found thus far on it.) In both cases, Dick says yes like, the very next panel....and lets Tim get back to what he's doing.

Dick never shuts Tim down or out, he never refuses to help him, he never denies him resources, tries to bench him, ANYTHING of the sort. Tim's only 'on his own' for much of Red Robin because Tim literally WANTS it that way, because he doesn't even trust HIMSELF, that he's not chasing just a fairy tale but that there's a real answer out there to find.....and he knows these doubts of his have validity and thus he doesn't want to give anyone else even the OPTION of backing up those doubts with more of their own, and weakening his resolve. He's being driven by desperation and hope as much as anything else, and when those look a lot like the denial and bargaining stages of grief from the outside looking in.....how exactly do people fault the characters looking at this from the outside for not drawing the same conclusions as Tim, who is deliberately keeping himself the only one privy as to his actual hopes and theories?

Anyway, follow along beneath the cut for complete scans of a whirlwind tour of Tim's actual narrative here, and please know that my commentary is just a general thing aimed at fandom perceptions and readers at large, NOT specific to you as the asker of this question, lol:

....oh and umm, also this is contined in two posts below this one, each complete with scans below their cuts as well. LOOK THERE WAS A LOT TO TALK ABOUT HERE LEAVE ME ALONE, ITS FINE.

So I'm going in chronological order, NOT the order the events were presented in the book, since the book deliberately uses nonlinear storytelling. But here we start with Tim's actual departure from the Batcave, and what Dick says to him about Bruce being gone and needing to accept that, but HE still needs him. Note the complete lack of kicking Tim out or prioritizing or sugar coating things for Damian.

(Also note that this is well after Damian tried to kill Tim when he first arrived. I note this only because its not fair to say that Dick just never cared about Damian trying to kill Tim, because we never had a chance to see Dick's actual reaction to that, since it happened when he wasn't even around and Bruce was still Batman. A lot of time has passed since then. Its not that Dick just doesn't care, its that he wasn't around at the time and its not like there's a lot of room here for past events to get rehashed by ANYONE.)

But what's also very important to note is this is BEFORE Tim finds his first piece of evidence making him believe Bruce is actually alive. This is significant in my mind because notice what Dick says to Tim here about Bruce, and then keep this in mind once we get to Dick trying to convince Tim he needs to move on later in the comic. You'll notice Dick's words are almost exactly the same, that he's continuing on in the exact same vein he presents here.....because for him, nothing HAS changed. He hasn't found what Tim has, doesn't have that altering his perception of this, so there's literally no reason FOR him to think in those later scenes that Tim's influenced by more on the Bruce topic than he is right here...because Tim's never shared that little piece of intel!

This picks up right after Tim leaves the cave in the prior scan. Again before his first finding. I think its extremely hard to argue that at this point at least, Tim IS in denial and deep in the throes of grief, so again, its not hard to understand why others who know him well and love him, might.....interpret him as in denial and deep in the throes of grief. Its not a judgment call. Its not saying he's crazy. Its not threatening to commit him to Arkham. Its just...hey, so some fucked up shit happened and you lost a very important person to you, and that can fuck with your head, nobody knows that better than us, other superheroes and your family.

Now this scan follows the previous one, BUT we will LATER in Red Robin #12 be given a final piece of the puzzle....which is a flashback to this specific scene, and what Tim SEES in it, that we the readers were previously unable to, between the previous page and this one here, that shows WHY Tim all of a sudden switches from the denial "this isn't happening" to "he's alive." Because without knowing that Tim specifically SEES something between those two pages, that make him switch tracks.....'he's alive' is MEANT to sound like its a carryover from 'this isn't happening.' That he's STILL in denial, he's just decided to be proactive about it and so has unilaterally just made the CHOICE to believe no matter what that Bruce is alive and he's going to prove it.

But again, without knowing that Tim found something in between these two pages, there's literally NO WAY to reasonably draw the conclusion that something PROMPTED Tim's realization that Bruce is alive, rather than just INSPIRED his passionate refusal to accept that Bruce was dead despite all appearances to the contrary.

iAnd here, from Red Robin #12, the very last page of its very last issue of its entire first year.....is the FIRST and ONLY time we're graced with a look at what prompted Tim's entire journey and steadfast conviction that Bruce was actually alive.

Its....this.

While in the midst of an extremely emotionally turbulent outpouring of grief, which nobody is blaming him for, Tim accidentally HAPPENS upon a picture that jars him out of his thoughts and launches him in another direction. Its an anachronistic picture of Bruce, or at least someone who LOOKS just like Bruce, though to be honest, I think a case could be equally made that it was a portrait of one of Bruce's ancestors. Which I think is absolutely a thought Tim had as well, and one he felt others might point out to him which could explain WHY he never shared this picture....he didn't want them raising and emphasizing another possibility rather more likely than it being Bruce just lost in time.

Also, the Dick Grayson stan in me that is annoyed by the perpetual emphasis of Tim Drake Is Smartest Boi Nobody Could Ever Smart Like He Does The Smart - which is not to say that I think Tim is dumb, or not as smart as Dick, but rather that I think ALL the Batfam are smart as fuck to such a degree as to make it utterly pointless to try and rank any of them as smarter than the others BUT I DIGRESS -

ANYWAY. I just want to point out here that as in MOST cases where Tim's genius is lauded over others in the family, its not actually that Tim is making conclusions or deductions or putting together things that nobody but him is capable of.....ie, its not to say that another Batfam member being written as having this particular narrative journey instead of Tim COULDN'T have made the same conclusions, its just that we never saw anyone but Tim have the CHANCE to draw any conclusions here.

TIM'S THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW THE PICTURE. Which he saw purely by CHANCE. It was situational! Happenstance! He didn't figure out Bruce was alive by being smarter than everyone, just like he didn't figure out Dick was Robin by being the greatest genius to ever live....and its not that he's NOT smart, but people keep giving him credit for simply being in the right place at the right time, and being the only one who has the necessary PIECES to put together to arrive at the right conclusion. But Tim being praised up and down for figuring out Bruce was alive and bringing him back and this emphasized to endless degrees as some kind of proof that he loves Bruce more or is Bruce's true heir or that nobody but him could have ever done the same thing.....you guys are gonna make me kermit here, I swear to Beezus. Tim only STARTED on this journey as opposed to everyone else not because he had some insight that ANY of them could have arrived at and simply DIDN'T, either because they weren't smart enough to or didn't care enough about Bruce being alive.....IT. WAS. PURE. LUCK. And then he only REMAINED the only one actually undertaking this journey to find Bruce and bring him back, not because nobody else cared, or they opted out or said he was crazy.....but because he chose for whatever reason not to SHARE any of the information or conclusions he'd found or drawn.

And that's not something you can reasonably hold against the other characters IMO.

Anyway. Let's continue.

.This takes place well before that previous scan of course, and is meant to follow the two I pasted in before it. This is the aftermath of that scene as it was originally presented to us in the comic, BEFORE the ultimate reveal as to what he saw while sitting there.

So again, from the perspective of everyone else, who don't know what Tim knows or thinks now, which personally I think was the whole reason FOR telling this story non-linearly, like Nicieza was trying to align readers' POV with the POVs of people around Tim, like he was literally TRYING to cast doubt as to whether Tim was on to something or just hanging onto desperate hopes....

Again, without that crucial bit of info about the anachronistic picture of Bruce.....there's absolutely NOTHING to suggest Tim has been afforded new information that only he has. Which in turn means there's literally NO reason for anyone else NOT to think he's being driven purely by grief and denial. Nobody is refusing to listen to Tim or shutting him down...he's simply not saying anything that would lead anyone to conclude otherwise! And again, NOBODY is judging him for any of this! Also crucial to keep in mind, this is ALL Tim's internal monologue. Its HIS perception of what other people are thinking about him, NOT a reliable transcription of things anyone has actually said.

And frankly, instead of eighty million "Dick didn't care about Tim back then" stories, give me the barest HANDFUL of fics that have characters calling Tim the fuck out for his tunnel vision at this time. Because he keeps saying he's all alone and has no one else, and can we please evolve as a society past the need for infinite fics validating this perception of his as real and instead evolve as a society into a need for fics giving Tim a reality check about how he still has a brother who very much loves him and was just pages prior to this begging him to stay because he needs him?

(A brother who btw, is ultimately only in the Batsuit that he hates more than anything because TIM harped on about how Gotham needed a Batman, that everything Dick was doing as Nightwing to keep the peace wasn't enough, that NIGHTWING wasn't enough, and basically forced Dick's hand and made him finally put on the Batsuit after Tim went out in a Batsuit of his own and got stabbed by Jason, AGAIN.)

But seriously, SO many Tim stans got their start with this series, and that's fine and all, but I really wish more hadn't just decided to take everything this guy says in the midst of Actual Depression, Actually, as totally reliable narration that accurately assesses his dynamics with his loved ones. Because it definitely resulted in a weird kind of entitlement where people think anything less than Tim getting 100% unconditional support for anything he says or thinks, no questions asked, means that like, Dick doesn't love him. While nobody's thinking to ask like wow, what DOES a guy have to do to prove that he loves you, that Dick didn't spend every single second of Tim being Robin, in order to rate a 'well at least I still have Dick Grayson' thought bubble popping up somewhere.

I'm just saying. The discrepancy. It bugs.

Cut ahead to later that issue, when Steph - yes Steph, because yeah Tim lost here a year or two before, but she was BACK before he ever even left Gotham, which weirdly doesn't come up a lot in fics emphasizing how much more Tim had lost than everyone else, and thus why Bruce's death hit him so much harder obviously.

So Steph tracks down Tim in one of his safehouses while Tim's still prepping to leave Gotham on his search. She literally begs Tim to let her in and help. Tim's refusal to listen to her, talk to her, or see her actions or words as proof of her caring about him, is not on her. He makes that choice. And again yes, I do believe he's heavily depressed at this point in time, but depression isn't a get out of jail free card for everything you say and do while depressed. And yes, I have it, don't @ me about that, its true and depressed people need to say it. Tim makes multiple proactive choices throughout the series, and his decision to keep people at bay is still HIS decision. And not one that needs to be validated by his stans acting like there was no one TRYING to be there for him, and that's the only reason he was 'forced' to work with Ra's and the League of Assassins. No. Not how any of that played out. I'm not vilifying Tim for this, I'm just saying dear god do I wish less people would vilify everyone around Tim BECAUSE of this.

Particularly Dick, because if you notice that dialogue in the above panel, about the 'everyone' Stephanie refers to being worried about him.....this diehard perception people have that Dick just didn't care about Tim falls flat on its face when you happen to notice that even Tim, while in the midst of depression, is FULLY aware that Dick cares about him and is worried. Dick only sent Steph to check on Tim instead of going himself, because based on Tim storming out of their last conversation while Dick literally begged him to say, logically, the guy has deduced that Tim doesn't want to see him right now. But notice how he's not letting that be an excuse not to check up on Tim or worry, because he's literally NOT MAKING IT ABOUT HIM. Its about Tim. Its about his concerns for Tim. Because he cares. A lot. About Tim. Is any of this clicking for people? LOLOL.

But Tim doesn't take this clear demonstration of Dick's caring about him to reach out in turn, because Dick isn't saying what he wants to hear right now. And this is where I go back to the idea that its entitlement to view unconditional love as being the same thing as unconditional support, because no, if you love someone, you are still not obligated to believe everything they believe, validate everything they want validated, etc, etc. That's not a loved one, that's a sycophant. And its gross to me that so many fans expect Dick to be exactly that for Tim when they would never in a million years tolerate Tim being reduced to that for Dick's sake.

And again, for the record, if Tim wants to hear something new from Dick about Bruce not being dead......that requires Dick having a reason to change his mind, which Tim is ironically the one person capable of doing! TIM JUST CHOOSES NOT TO. Probably because he fears Dick still won't agree with him then and will say its not real evidence, that he's drawing just the conclusions he wants to, out of denial and not deduction....but whether or not Dick WOULD say that is irrelevant, especially when this is being used as a mark against him, because Dick literally doesn't ever get the CHANCE to agree or disagree with Tim on this, based on the actual evidence motivating Tim.

I'm not TOTALLY sure if this part is set chronologically BEFORE the last scene with Steph or after it, but either way, its before Tim leaves Gotham to start on his search. And again, NOBODY IS TELLING TIM THAT HE'S LOSING IT. They're telling him that having trouble accepting a loved one's death is part of the grieving process for a lot of people, and they want to help him with that. Tim still is the only one privy to any reason to think its more than that, and just because he withholds that reason BECAUSE he fears he's actually losing it, doesn't mean ANYONE around him is actually going around telling him or other people that he's crazy.

More from that same scene. Clear evidence that Tim very much has people who love and support him.....but okay, that's not enough in this particular instance. What Tim needs here and now is to feel supported in what he believes. I get that. Alright, so here we see Tim testing the waters there, trotting out his theory to someone new.....

Okay, so ouch. Cassie reacts badly, in Tim's eyes. She instantly assumes he's JUST reacting from a place of grief, and goes to console him.....BUT like....its kinda significant that she mentions Conner? Because Cassie is not an impartial bystander. She's not someone who only barely knows Tim. She knows him better than most anyone, and SHE WAS THERE when Tim went through the grieving process with Conner. She, more than anyone else, knows EXACTLY how badly Tim handled that, and its not her saying he's crazy for her to immediately jump to this being the same thing as that, because from her perception, and without Tim offering any reason for it to appear otherwise, IT LOOKS THE SAME AS THAT.

And frankly, Tim HURT Cassie when they were both mourning Conner's loss. Emotionally, not physically of course, and he didn't mean to, and it was all born of handling his own emotions badly, but I am sick of people dragging Cassie through the mud over this too. Cassie has EVERY right in the world to immediately leap to associations with the last time she was privy to Tim's refusal to accept a loved one is dead, and the fact that she immediately jumps to concern instead of something self-serving like 'oh no, I can't go through this again, I can't be here for this,' is a testament to the strength of her friendship with Tim, NOT proof of some kind of betrayal from her because she didn't immediately intuit that this time WAS different, based on what little Tim actually said before he shut down. And is Tim a bad person for shutting down when his first foray into telling someone what he thinks is going on here gets off on an immediate bad foot and he's like abort, abort? No, he's not. But again, THIS ISN'T ON CASSIE.

Then when Tim leaves, Cassie immediately calls Dick. Which says to me, Dick has looped in everyone he can think of to check up on Tim and reach out to him if need be.....BUT NOTHING ELSE. Because notice how offguard Cassie was caught by Tim saying he thinks Bruce is alive? So much for peoples' idea that Dick was going around telling everybody he thought Tim was crazy. In fact, Cassie here is the first mention we have of 'getting Tim help,' but let's continue to see just what exactly was meant by that.

So now we speed up to just before Tim leaves Gotham on his search, and Dick meets him on his way out. He knows Tim doesn't want to talk to him, but he's trying one last time at a face to face before just letting Tim go off who knows where. Again, Dick kicked Tim out of the Manor who? Dick drove Tim out of Gotham where? DICK IS LITERALLY STANDING IN TIM'S WAY ON TIM'S WAY OUT OF GOTHAM.

THAT'S NOT EVEN SYMBOLIC AT THAT POINT. THIS SHIT IS LITERAL.

DICK DOESN'T WANT TIM TO GO.

Anyway, Dick tries again to convince Tim that Bruce is gone....Tim yet again says....nothing, about why he's so sure Bruce isn't. Dick ASKS him to talk. Dick stretches out his hand to Tim, OFFERING to help. Tim takes it and uses it to yank Dick towards him as he full on ATTACKS Dick. But uh, don't hear that come up much, do you? Dick showed up on Tim's way out of Gotham begging him to talk, to let Dick help, and Tim escalates it into a full out BRAWL.

And fans wonder why people thought Tim was just having a hard time processing his grief?

Continued in next post, because tumblr is a BUTTHEAD and won't let me post more than ten images at a time.

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi Charity! I wanted to know if it's a common enneagram 5 struggle or if I should reconsider my typing, haha. 

I noticed that a lot of the time I am reluctant to share what I know but there are two distinct different scenarios that arrive to the same result of staying silent. 

First one is that I am often afraid that I don't know enough to discuss something. No matter how kuch I research, I still feel that I have no right to say anything until I absolutely certainly consumed information on that subject, or else I will look dumb. I am also reluctant to speak when I know someone more capable than me is participating because, once again, I don't want to embarrass myself and look dumb, and I see no point to do so when there is someone clearly superior to me present. 

The second one is almost complete opposite. There are a few things I am super interested in and I could speak about it for many hours. I would love to share it with people but I am too afraid that I will come across as too intense or they will simply be bored listening to me. I am already very sad about not being able to switch between interests easily, not being able to be interested in things "normal amount", so I don't want to make the situation even worse. I know that in theory it's good to be laser-focused on things and could get me far in life, but I just can't help but be angry at myself for not being interested in parties, not liking socializing in big groups, having "weird" interests. Well, honestly, the interests aren't that weird themselves, it's my intense focus and obsession that makes to more weird. I've tried to many times to just quit this behavior and force myself to "be normal" but it only makes me more sad, as I don't get to experience this joy that researching new information and discovering something new regarding my interests give me. I hoped that I will "outgrow" it once I am no longer a teenager but it never really went away. 

Thanks!

Sounds normal for a 5.

It feels like maybe you only beat yourself up for your myopic interests out of a desire to connect outside yourself -- to make friends? Is that right? If so, why not see your interest as a way to meet people and talk about things? Could you make friends online who have a similar interest/obsession to yours, rather than thinking the only place to meet people is by active socializing at parties? What if you used mentioning your interest as a way to draw people to you who were also interested in those things, rather than seeing yourself as too weird to fit in? (5s assume they are indeed weird/alien, and that is a negative thing... and in truth, they are no weirder than anyone else and there are people who will appreciate their interests.)

Don't be normal. Normal doesn't exist. Be yourself. ;)

[whump-a-la-mode]

Um hi, I don't normally send prompts but I had an idea, so…anyway, basically the prompt is a villain's young sidekick who shows up at the villain's doorstep in the middle of the night (villain is a nice person; more unlawful than evil, idk) really injured, and when the villain patches them up, they end up accidentally revealing that they live with an abusive family? Idk, sorry if this is a weird idea.

With ideas as good as this one, you should send prompts more often ^^ It's not weird at all, I absolutely love this. I tried really hard on this one, so I really hope you enjoy!

Please note that this work contains descriptions of the aftermath of physical child abuse. If this would upset or distress you, please avoid reading this work.

CW//Child abuse, physical child abuse, verbal child abuse, being called a 'freak', death of a spouse, blood, bacteria (in a scientific setting)

Villain had never been much of a fan of children.

They wouldn't exactly describe it as a dislike. Kids were... fine. Annoying on occasion, and endlessly confusing with their new trends and habits, but fine. Those who brought them into the world and raised them provided a precious service, but their talents were far more useful elsewhere.

They squinted their eye, the eye pressed up against the lens of their microscope. With a tiny twist of a knob, the image below focused, displaying in full detail a million squirming lifeforms.

The culture was developing as expected. They removed the slide and returned the bacterial colony to its petri dish.

They'd thought about having a family, when they were young. A juvenile, clueless thought, but a thought nonetheless. There was something that warmed them about the concept of a home that was never empty.

Nowadays, they shared their home with no one but the bacteria, and they weren't exactly the best conversationalists.

Villain moved across their lab, soft socks muffling the thudding of their feet on the tile. With practiced accuracy, they returned the petri dish back to its tray, where it belonged.

They couldn't help but glancing just to the right. To the rabbit cage, sitting empty as it was. The light above it was still glowing bright, illuminating the stale hay below, and the toilet paper roll where the cage's inhabitant's teeth had once gnawed.

Now, the habitat sat empty.

They couldn't bring themself to clean it out. That was Spouse-

That was Spouse's job.

Villain bit their lip, taking another petri dish from the tray and returning to their microscope.

They growled and swatted at the thoughts that fought to enter their brain, but it was no use. No weapon could have fended them off.

Because... Because...

Because Spouse had loved kids.

They had always talked about the concept in dreamy, wistful tones. The idea of having a family, of creating something together that wasn't borne of chemicals in a lab. And Villain had agreed. But it was always simply a plan. Something that would be done sometime in the future. When the world wasn't so hectic. When there wasn't work to be done. When...

Villain bit their tongue hard enough to draw blood, gazing as intensely through the microscope's lens as they could manage.

Now that Spouse was gone, the laughter of children would never light the dreary home. There would always be a spare bedroom.

Their home would always be empty.

Maybe that was why they had taken Sidekick in.

It was something they'd wondered so often, not that they'd ever admit it to the teen they had taken under their wing. The relationship had started so uneventfully-- a powered kid with just enough spunk and reckless abandon to find their way into the world of heroes and villains.

At first, Villain hadn't even thought of them as a sidekick. They were just a kid that they trained in their free time. A future ally who needed someone to show them the ropes.

Then, they'd started coming with them on missions.

And fighting at their side.

And now, Villain couldn't help wondering, whenever they laid in their large, empty bed, what Spouse would have thought of their protege. If they were still around, then Sidekick's 16th birthday cake wouldn't have been so shitty. But, hey, no one could say that Villain hadn't tried.

Damn, did they miss that kid. Even when they called them a dinosaur and laughed when they didn't know what Tock-Tic was, or whatever they'd said. They'd been gone almost a whole week, now.

It wasn't the first time, of course. No teen had the time to be a full-time sidekick. They had their own life. They needed to go to school and hang out with their friends and be a kid. And do whatever kids did on Tock-Tik. Villain was certain that they would come back when they were able.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

By the time the knock on the door came, Villain was almost done with their inspection of the bacteria colonies. Their tired eyes flitted to the clock on the wall: Three in the morning. Had it been that long?

And who the hell was at their door at three in the morning?

The knock sounded again, yet, this time, it was distinct. Three sharp taps, then a fourth two seconds later.

Sidekick's knock. The one they'd practiced, to notify Villain when they arrived. But... They looked at the clock again. Their eyes had not deceived them. It was the dead of night. The kid should have been asleep hours ago!

Without care, they tossed down the petri dish in their hands on the nearest countertop, not so much as bothering to shrug off their lab coat as they hurried to the front door. They expected to hear the knock again-- the kid was always so impatient-- but there was no such noise. Only heavy, shallow breathing.

Other villains would have bemoaned their recklessness, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that their kid was here.

Villain flung open the window. Sidekick leapt back.

Sidekick...

They stood in the doorway a moment, liquid shock and terror battling for dominance within their bones. When they finally recovered, they spoke no words, only bustled their protege through the door and locked it behind. The kid stumbled all the way to the lab's exam table, which Villain practically threw them upon.

The terror in their bones had settled firmly in their stomach.

"What in the world happened to you?"

It was with the gaze of a parent rather than a doctor that they scanned the kid from head to toe.

The sheer volume of blood made it difficult to pinpoint their wounds. Yet, it was clear to see that the side of their head was still pumping scarlet, and the crimson dribbling down their leg was already dripping onto the pristine lab floor.

Villain gulped. The idea of taking their eyes of the kid for a split second was petrifying, but they relented, rushing off to returning a moment later with handfuls of rags. They shoved one into the kids hands.

"Hold this to the wound on your head, as tight as you can. I'll clean off your leg."

Even with trembling hands, the kid obliged as Villain knelt down , drenching rag after rag in blood until the leg was finally clear. At the very least, the wound upon their knee seemed to have stopped weeping scarlet. It was a messy thing, blunt trauma with enough force behind it to tear straight through the skin. The villain's practiced fingers tied a tight wrapping of gauze around the joint, standing to their feet.

Blood had seeped between Sidekick's fingers, but it seemed to have begun to dry. The head wound had stopped bleeding.

"Good." Villain pried the soaked rag from the kid's hands, tossing it aside. They could clean up later. "Where else?"

Sidekick averted their gaze, shoulders winding up taut.

"You need to tell me where you were hurt. Please."

After a few moments of trembling like a leaf, the kid gestured to their side.

"Okay. Can you take your shirt off for me, please? I need to get that cleaned."

"Okay..." The kid whimpered, obliging. Villain tossed aside the bloodied garment with little care, adding it to the pile of dirtied fabric.

Their torso...

The wound on their side, just above the hip, did not bleed nearly as bad as the other two. But...

With the sheer amount of bruises littering their flesh, Sidekick's skin may as well have been blue.

Villain took a clean rag, pressing it to their side.

"Who." They spat. "Who did this?"

Their mind began to run with such speed that, had it been a computer, its fans would have been on overdrive. What heroes were active around Sidekick's neighborhood? A few came to mind, at least one or two that were far enough outside the law that they wouldn't have put much thought into doing this to a kid.

But Sidekick did not speak, instead staring at their own shoes, dangling off the exam table.

When the hip wound was dried and wrapped, Villain whirled around, grabbing their phone and flicking to the contacts page. Which of their fellow villains was near the kid's home? They could think of at least a couple. Even if they were little more than acquaintances, someone who would hurt a kid was the common enemy of all.

"I need a name, kiddo. A name. Was it Viper? Sunstorm? The Twilight Reaper? I have friends, lots of friends. We can make them regret this."

No reply. Villain bit their lip, selecting a contact, moving their finger towards the call button-

"Wait!"

The kid at last cried.

"It wasn't a hero. My dad's not a-"

Villain whirled around.

"Your dad?"

Sidekick flushed.

"U- um, no, I, um-"

"Did your father do this?" They stormed to the exam room where the kid sat. "All of this?"

"I- I-" Their voice was choked by tears, carving down their scarlet-stained face.

Villain placed their hands on the kid's shoulders, turning their gaze towards them.

"Please. Please, kid."

The falling tears turned to full-on sobs.

"H- He said I was a- a freak!" They wailed. "I was training, I- You said I needed to practice my flying, in bird form. And I was practicing, and I didn't think anyone else was home, and then he walked in and-"

A sob broke their voice.

"They told me never to use my powers. He doesn't know that I- I stopped taking the pills. The ones that suppress them. And he got m- mad, and, and-"

"It's okay, it's okay."

Villain threw their arms around their child, embracing them while taking care not to disturb their wounds.

"I didn't know where else to go." Sidekick's words were strangled. "I'm sorry, but I didn't want to go back home and..."

"No, no." They tightened the embrace. "No. You don't have to go back, never. Not if you don't want to."

They broke off the hug, picking their phone up again once more.

"Talon has kids your age, she would take you in. Alya, too. Swan Dancer is a teacher..."

"Um." Sidekick seemed to have run out of tears, leaving them with only a broken, low voice. "I... That's all fine. But, um, I thought you mentioned having a spare room?"

Despite their parental terror, Villain let their face break into the smallest smile.

Spouse's room.

In a way, maybe they would get to meet Sidekick, after all.

[donnerpartyofone]

I just passed this post about the Tumblr shoelaces that had 42k notes on it, which is how I finally found out that this was and has been a Thing. I did not expect there to be a narrative behind this piece of merch they've been relentlessly pimping, and I was surprised and delighted by the fact I had managed to remain ignorant of it for such a long time. I joined Tumblr in 2010, and I'm frequently baffled by how strangers talk about what it used to be like here. I practically never get anyone else's points of reference, there was absolutely no fandom garbage being reblogged onto my dash, and I didn't even hear about Dashcon until years after the fact. This just means that there was a certain point in time when you could actually curate your experience here, and you didn't have to see a ton of dumb little baby stuff that, as a friend of mine once said, made you want to scoop out your mind's eye with a melon baller.

I just had my circle of mutuals, none of whom existed anywhere on a venn diagram with the Superwholock people who were apparently all around us (I didn't even have to know what that was until recently), and everybody had their own identifiable personality; my dash was reliably just horror movie gifs, glitch art, our own actual drawings and paintings, porn, old and underground comics, cyberpunk schlock, sleazy magazine scans, and a smattering of freaky gore to remind you of the grimy mondo-style websites that were like an internet rite of passage in the 90s and early 00s. That might still sound generic on some level, but it had a very distinct flavor from anything going on today. You kind of knew who everybody was, we each had our own distinct personalities, and it was a lot of fun. I never, ever had to be even remotely aware of what was going on in fandom communities or see their needy homemade pornography for babies.

I'm sure there's a confluence of reasons why fandom crap is now like 30% of what I wind up seeing no matter how careful I am about who I follow, or how actively I block fandom accounts just to reduce the volume of what insinuates itself into my feed. The worst consequence of the fandom supremacy is actually not even the cutesy boring content, but it's this intense homogenizing effect it has on people. Everyone talks the same way and makes the same art about the same shit in the same style, and it's like there's just this overpowering urge to conform. I'm sure it's very comforting to be among people who are almost exactly the same as yourself, but I also think it's a bad dragon to chase. Besides which, what happened to the pleasure of having a special, personal thing that not everybody else "gets"? It's no wonder nothing resembling punk seems to exist here, except as just another cult to join.

Yesterday I was thinking about those old Apple Jacks commercials where the kids would conspiratorially sneer to each other that dorky adults "think Apple Jacks should taste like apples"; my friend and I really enjoyed accusing people of thinking Apple Jacks should taste like apples whenever we encountered an ignorant opinion on some obnoxiously niche thing we liked, but it occurred to me that that kind of snotty pleasure in one's own individuality is a rarer thing these days. Everyone insists on being understood and embraced and included, and you got hives of people complaining self-righteously about "antis" who look down on their dopey cartoon incest fantasies, like it's against the law to vocally dislike anything, even THAT. And like, a grown person should really be able to ignore the dissenting opinions of complete strangers, but also, it's GOOD to have some dissent in your life! It's IMPORTANT to feel the difference between yourself and others, to experience rejection, and have to stand on your own without an amorphous hive of internet strangers telling you "you are valid" for all kinds of inane reasons that really don't beg for anyone's seal of approval. Sometimes Apple Jacks taste better just because there's dorks out there mad that it doesn't taste like apples.

Anyway, I just saw that ancient post going around where everybody was warning each other that 4chan was planning a "raid" on tumblr where they were gonna like attack everybody with grody pictures, so "stay safe out there" and here's a bunch of tips on how to protect yourself from being fatally grossed out or something. I have no idea if such a thing actually happened in real life, but it sounded pretty funny to me, and like maybe we should have one of those "raids" intermittently just for social hygiene purposes. Maybe some people could use that extra push to reduce their screen time and read a fucking real book or something, and then those people can just get offa my lawn.